Mortals
by Not-Famous-Yet
Summary: 'We're at the center of your love affair.' The Gods wrote a song and want their children to hear. Parody of Royals.


"Of course we've seen diamonds in the flesh

We cut our teeth on wedding rings that are pointless

And we're proud of our address, on Olympus

Talk about post-card envy!"

"And every song's like gold teeth, grey goose, tripping in the bathroom

Man, mortals are weird

But they're good in bed

We don't care, we're freakin' immortals."

"But every song's like cristal, maybach, diamonds on your time piece

Like we said, mortals are weird

But we need them to make heroes

We don't care

We're at the center of your love affair."

"And we'll never be mortals (mortals)

It's not in our ichor

Their kind of love just ain't for us

We crave a one-night-stand kind of buzz

Let us be your ruler (ruler)

You can call us Lord and Lady

And baby we rule (we rule, we rule)

We're not just fantasy."

"My family and I

We've got powers

We count our drachmas

On the way to the party (thrown in our honor)

And everyone who knows us knows

That we don't take trains

We can just teleport."

"And every song's like gold teeth, grey goose, tripping in the bathroom

Man, mortals are weird

But they're good in bed

We don't care, we're freakin' immortals."

"But every song's like cristal, maybach, diamonds on your time piece

Like we said, mortals are weird

But we need them to make heroes

We don't care

We're at the center of your love affair."

"And we'll never be mortals (mortals)

It's not in our ichor

Their kind of love just ain't for us

We crave a one-night-stand kind of buzz

Let us be your ruler (ruler)

You can call us Lord and Lady

And baby we rule (we rule, we rule)

We're not just fantasy."

"Oooh ooooh ohhh

We're bigger than you've ever dreamed

Baby, we're stronger than kings and queens

Oooooh ooooh ohhhhh

Life is good without a care

Except that we're in the center of your love affair."

"And we'll never be mortals (mortals)

It's not in our ichor

Their kind of love just ain't for us

We crave a one-night-stand kind of buzz

Let us be your ruler (ruler)

You can call us Lord and Lady

And baby we rule (we rule, we rule)

We're not just fantasy."

The gods finished and turned to their kids expectantly.

"Uhh," Piper stuttered, rubbing the back of her neck. "That was-whose idea was that?"

"Mine," Apollo said proudly.

"Oh, uh," Serissa jumped up and started clapping. "That was wonderful. Great job dad." Apollo beamed.

"That was awful," Leo blurted. The Seven plus Nico and Serissa minus Leo turned to glare at said son of Hephaestus.

"Told you," Artemis snapped.

"You're only upset because you sang backup," Hermes argued.

"As *Ella is my daughter," Apollo said. "I believe she will love this song. Don't you agree, Serissa?"

"Of course!" said girl cried out, a false smile spattered across her features. "The song is amazing! What do you call it?"

"Mortals," Dionysus spoke, his voice dull. "Catchy, right?"

"Uh," Annabeth blinked. "Sure."

"Real chart-topper," Percy nodded.

"Can you guys record it, so I can buy it?" Frank asked eagerly. Hazel shot him a look.

"Great idea!" chirped Zeus. "Bye." The Seven plus Nico plus Serissa sighed.

"It wasn't that bad," Jason muttered after a moment of silence.

"I guess," Nico mumbled. "It just…"

"'But they're good in bed?'" Serissa screamed. "Seriously, dad? Seriously?"

"Calm down," Hazel soothed. "As least it wasn't as bad as 'We crave a one-night-stand kind of buzz.' Hearing my father sing that…"

"Some mental scars to add to the collection," Percy finished.

"Why would my mother agree to sing such an abomination of a song?" Annabeth groaned.

"It is kinda of catchy," Serissa frowned, before singing, "And we'll never be mortals! It's not in our ichor. Their kind of love just ain't for us. We crave a one-night-stand kind of buzz." Leo cringed at hearing his girlfriend sing the gods-awful lyrics. Though, she made them sound good. She had the voice of an angel.

"Wanna watch a movie?" Jason suggested.

"Teen Beach Movie!" Serissa and Percy shouted, before fist bumping.

"Fine," Annabeth moaned.

"To Leo's cabin!" Piper chimed.

Serissa sighed, "You can call us Lord and Lady. And baby we rule, we rule, we rule. We're not just fantasy."

"SERISSA!"

"COMING!"

* * *

**Madeline: Well ladies and gents, what do you think? I wrote Mortals myself. **

**Piper: *Ella is Lorde's real name.**

**Madeline: Oh, thanks Piper. Nearly forgot that.**

**Serissa: Hi! I'm a random OC Madeline created just for this fanfic!**

**Madeline: BEGONE!**

**Serissa: *disappears***

**Madeline: I'll never use her again!**

**Leo: She was hot…and my girlfriend. **

**Percy: AND WE'LL NEVER BE MORTALS!**

**Annabeth: *rolls eyes* Anyway, don't forget to review, favorite the story, follow and favorite Madeline, and read some other stories Madeline has written. Trust me, they're good.**

**Hazel: Okay, so bye!**

**~Madeline, Piper, Serissa, Leo, Percy, Annabeth, and Hazel**

**Frank: Did we miss anything?**

**Nico: We're too late! They already signed off.**

**Jason: NOOOOOOOOO! *cries and runs into a wall***

**Nico/Frank: *blinks and slowly backs out of the room***


End file.
